singing Faded Memories
by MakeRoomForCastiel
Summary: After Sam Has died, His soul has gone missing...Leaving Dean and Castiel to go on a goose-hunt trying to find it so they can bring him back. Meanwhile, Sam wakes up not knowing who he is and befriends a stranger named James who is actually the archangel Gabriel, who rose him from hell and will soon become Sam's only friend. A little destiel, And a whole lot of Sabriel.
1. Lost Soul

Deans POV

I couldn't handle it, once again I fucked up, and I fucked up big. I stare at the bottle of whiskey on the table, its amber color reflecting from the beam of light that leaks from the window. The scowl is becoming worse, twisting my face in what i would imagine would look like i am in agony. I am. The pain of loss was almost unbearable, I have had my chest ripped into ribbons by a hellhound, yet it does not compare. I lost him. I lost Sam.

I should of known something was up, it had to be a trap... yet I turned a blind eye to it and let him continue the case in the state he was in. Worn, tired, injured, we should've drawn back to recollect ourselves and recover.. We were fools.

I slam my head on the table, cursing out loud. I need him..why did I never tell Sam that I needed him?! It's too late now.

I heard a rustle from behind, and I shoot out of my seat "Cas!"

There in front of me stood the angel who helped us out all those times, he was basically family. " Hello, Dean." His eyes were grim, he looked exhausted.

I hesitate before asking, skeptical that any good news was coming my way. "Did...Did you find anything Cas? What is the news?" I struggled to keep my voice even, trying to look stronger than I really was. But there was no doubt that he knew that I was truly broken.

"There is not any news on the look of Sam's soul... We could not find it in heaven..." He sighed before adding, "There is no news of his soul in hell either..."

I knew he was trying to cheer me up, but the weight on my heart did not ease. "How could you guys just lose a soul!" I know it wasn't Castiel's fault, in fact he was trying to help. Yet, I can not help myself from snapping. " Listen here Cas. Go tell those feathered dicks to look harder!" I pace the floor back and forth, seething. " We need to bring him back... We need to!"

Castiel kept his calm expression, I am glad he did. He seemed very understanding, and he was also the only one I had on my side left. " Dean, you need to calm down... Did you find Crowley yet?" the angel cleared his throat, knowing the subject of Sam might being in hell was a sore spot for me... more than a sore spot, it was taking a knife to the spine "He keeps tabs...down there... He might know something."

" Cas, I tried" I sit back down, rubbing my temples in frustration as I pour myself a glass of whiskey " The bastard is MIA, no luck contacting him." I down the glass, feeling the burning sensation in the back of my throat as I pour yet another glass. " Do..Do you think he is torturing Sammy down there, Cas?" My voice cracks again, the idea of Sam burning in hell tugs at my gut. I am a horrible brother.

" I don't know Dean, we can't find anything-"

" If not Hell, and not heaven...Do you think he might be in purgatory? "

" There is a possibility, just like the rest Dean, I promise that I will keep looking"

" Maybe he is still alive" I gave a bitter laugh knowing better...but the idea of Sammy bursting through the front door going 'Hey guys, did you miss me?' brought a little comfort, though the hope was not their.

Castiel sat down next to me, staring me right in the eyes. " Dean, it takes a lot to bring someone back, it disrupts the whole cosmos...We would know if he was brought back, hell or no hell."

" Thanks for the comfort Cas, really" I grumble, eyes returning to my empty glass.

" We could attempt to trap death.." Castiel tried to suggest, but The mentioning of death sent chills up and down my spine.

" No, Cas...We both know that death threatened us, that if we were to ever try trapping him again, he would make sure he would kill us before we even start the ritual. We can't bring back Sam if we are dead ourselves."

Castiel nodded, looking a bit glum himself. Our little stitched together family was missing a member, and it took a toll on both of us. " Dean, I am sorry. I should have been there to assist-"

" Cas, you tried your best. What happened to Sam was not your fault." I cut in, the look of guilt on the angels face made me feel worse.

Castiel's eyes narrowed a bit " Neither is it yours ,Dean. You cannot keep blaming yourself for his death.

" I should have protected him! It was my job! I AM HIS BROTHER!" I forced back tears, guilt of my own resurfacing. It was my fault, I promised myself I would protect him. " Cas, It is my fault, all of it!"

" Dean, I-"

"That's enough ,Cas" my voice hollowed, I just wanted to be alone. " Please just go away , I need some time to think... Come back tomorrow."

And with the sound of the breeze, the angel vanished. I stared back to the bottle, eyes closing.

Sam... Where are you?


	2. Lost Memories

Sams POV

Everything was foreign when I woke up, and far too bright. A stinging white light pierced my eyes, which caused a stinging pain in the back of my head.

" Hey there man, You ok?" I look up to see a man leaning over me, his light brown eyes staring intently at me. " Are you just going to sleep there or what?"

I tried to focus, but everything was a blur.

"Where am I?" My voice was rough, my throat felt like it was on fire, dehydration...The man offered his hand to help me up. I grabbed it thankfully, grunting slightly as I pull myself up. Everything was sore, my limbs screamed in protest as I try to steady myself in standing position.

" Greenbay, Wisconsin— land of the cheese." The man laughed before his eyes focused on me again, he looked, almost cautious. " so why were you face down in the dirt?"

I frown as I just realize...I did not remember. I didn't remember anything. I take a step back, stumbling a bit " I...I don't know..."

The man raised an eyebrow at me, " What do you mean 'I don't know'? "

I try to focus, trying to remember anything about myself– anything! But, nothing came , no information or memories popped into my head. " It means exactly what I said!" Ya, I was beginning to panic. " I don't why I was on the floor , how I got here, or even my name for that matter!" I held my head, wincing- trying to force myself to remember something, anything.

" Woah there kiddo, calm down." You need to calm down, ok?"

I wasn't listening, my head was throbbing, fighting to give me any information.

Dean.

"...Dean?..." I mutter quietly, and the man in front of me flinched slightly.

" Remember something?"

"..Yeah... I think it's my name...it feels important..." I give a weak smile Before repeating the name "Dean.."

" Well... Dean." More hesitation came from his voice, before he extended his hand " You can call me James."

He is lying, I can sense it. Though oddly , I still feel obligated to trust this man, he felt safe.

" Well, I can't just leave an amnesiac in the middle of a park– why don't you crash at my place? Unless you want to go to the hospital."

I did not want to go to the hospital, but this man seemed so willing to help a stranger " I couldn't possibly—"

He laughed and winked " Just consider me your Gaurdian Angel " he wrapped an arm around me ,well at least tried to, I was definitely taller than him. Yet, he smiled brightly " Well, Dean-o, let's get goin before the sun sets ."

I don't know why I followed this man, but I did. James was odd. That was his first impression.

" You're limping, are you ok?" James turned back and his eyes went to my right leg.

I blink and stop in my tracks, not even noticing until now. " I don't know."

" well don't you think we should check?" He asked sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

I got down on one knee, rolling up my pant leg. I did not know what I was exactly looking at, it ..it almost looked like a handprint. No, it was a handprint, wrapped around my ankle. " What the hell is that?" It definitely was an odd injury.

James eyes focused on it, but then he tried to shrug it off. " we can dress it at home, let's go."

I rolled my pant leg down before standing back up. I hear thunder , or at least I thought it was.

" Jeez, you must really be hungry kid."

My face reddened, and I nodded.

"Then lets go get a burger before we head back. Come on, let's go."


	3. Lost Family

**Castiel's POV**

It was such a foreign emotion. Yes, I have lost many brothers and sisters in my being, yet none was as hurtful as the loss of Sam Winchester. There was no ties of blood,however, I would shed blood for those brothers... I should have shed more. I left Dean alone unwillingly, I could sense his agony. I look up to the sky, taking a deep breath. I vow now, no matter the cost, I shall bring back, whatever the task is set in front of me, whatever the cost.

**Sam's POV**

James seemed to be a pretty laid back guy, very flamboyant. We sat in a McDonald's, munching on our food. I honestly still can't believe the amount of food he got me, not that I am complaining; it felt like I have not eaten in days, for all I know that could be the case. I stare at the tower of ten burgers and three large fries in front of me. " You... Are going to help me eat this, right?" I laugh nervously at the looks I was getting from the other people around us, but James did not mind at all, or maybe he just didn't see the stares...who knows.

"Nah, I'm not a big burger eater." He says to me as he goes at his pile of apple pies. " I am more of a sweets person myself... never one for savory foods." he stakes a drink of his milkshake.

" You are going to rot your teeth out at this rate,- Did you just finish all twenty of those?!" I gawk

He looked up at me slightly, looking confused at the question. "Sorry? Did you want one?"

I sigh and shake my head, slowly unwrapping a burger, mulling over today's events. " So... do you normally go strolling in the park looking for people passed out?" It was a serious question, or at least I meant it to be, yet as I said it, I could hear the sarcasm in my voice.

" Sassy, aren't we, Deano, But no, I do not." He stretched slightly and yawned " I was simply taking a walk when I found you. I am pretty sure anyone would run to someone's aid if they saw them face down in the dirt like that. Totally thought you were dead." He laughed

" I suppose. But, you did not have to treat me to dinner, or let me stay at your place."

" That is true." He shrugged " Though I just felt like it was the right thing to do. Hey, if you want a job, I own a coffee shop down the way, nothing special but— it should get you back on your feet until your memory comes back" he takes another large sip of his milkshake " I was just about to put up a 'help wanted' sign up, guess that works perfectly— saving paper one sign at a time." James smiled and looked outside, a bit of a frown on his face appeared on his face that confused me.

" I would appreciate that a lot." I frown as well "Looking for something?" I ask, as I watch him scanning outside the window. He was definitely an odd character, very fidgety.

" Ya, thought I heard something... But!" His smile returned before stretching and getting up " Was just my imagination."

Before I could comprehend what I was saying, I asked " Running away with me?"

James laughed " You don't know your past, but you know music references? He looked at mean offered his hand to help me up .

My face reddened slightly in embarrassment " Yeah... It kind of just popped up in my head, sorry."

" Nah, it's fine man." He pulls me up " Let's head home Dean-o-saur." He chuckles " I will show you the coffee shop tomorrow, k?"

**Castiel's POV**

I walked through the town, eyes scanning for anything as the minutes past into hours. Nothing, nothing but the millions of human souls, continuing their everyday lives. Until something made my hair stand up on end. The soul felt familiar, however- the bearer of it remained hidden from me. It was purposely hiding. I frown as I continue to walk, trying to find the origin, could it be Sam's? No, it is different, not human. My eyes narrow, scanning the area. I looked up at the building, a the spirit faded and left nothing but the constant hum of human souls. Whose ever soul it was, it was gone now.


	4. Lost Hope

**Dean's POV**

As the days went on, the more I really hated myself, the more errors I made were pointed out. Flashbacks of the day Sam died haunted me, making sure I did not ever have a restful night of sleep. Perhaps that was my punishment.

It was at first just the usual case, something went bump in the night, we came to the call. Sam seemed off, I didn't know he was running a fever until the night before the incident, after he almost had his insides ripped out for not being completely on guard. If I hadn't intervened, he would have been dead a day early. Sam had injured his leg pretty bad that night as well as his head was hit probably harder than most conflicts we had, however he still kept pushing to continue on our next case. We fought, that whole night. I wanted to go it alone, solo, but Sam would not have it. Now looking back, I should have fought more, or perhaps let it go. Because instead of letting Sam rest, we fought all night– without end.

My thought was interrupted by the flow of the room interrupted. I rub my the bridge of my nose inhaling deeply before turning to face the last family I had. "Hell, Cas."

**Castiel's POV**

Dean was broken. There was no other words to describe what I saw in front of me. "Hello , Dean" The words brought comfort in a way, the usual conversation starter between the two of us has yet to alter, the familiarity was as calming to the best this situation could be at the time being. Before dean could ask the question, I sat down and sighed. "No, there is not any news on Sam, I am sorry." the hurt on Dean's face twisted my insides, his suffering was so visible... Yet, there is nothing I can do to save him.

"Cas, it's been months,months!" His fist slammed against the the table, papers flying everywhere.

I could see tears beginning to fall. "Dean, I-"

"I'm losing hope, Cas...I can't go on like this...I just can't"

With my years spent with the humans, my ability to understand emotions were still more than questionable. I leaned over and gave Dean a hug, something that I have seen many times here, but never truly understands the need of one until now. Dean grunted and mumbled something about not being a child, but he hugged back, not letting go. Minutes passed, Dean seeming to regain some of his senses as we sat and embraced. we sat there in silence, I dare not say anything. Dean needed this, this was comforting. It took a few more minutes to realize that Dean actually fell asleep. I sigh and slowly shift so the man was in a more comfortable sleeping position. "Rest well, Dean. Rest well."

**Sam's POV**

It's been two weeks since James found me. I did not retrieve any of my list memories, however, I did manage to earn my keep around the house. Ya, James let me move in, as long as I payed rent- very reasonable. I work at the coffee shop with Gabe, learning the ropes. I can proudly say that I can officially make a cappuccino without spilling the frothed milk all over me. Making coffee was definitely a lot harder than it looks, but I managed. At first, I was just cleaning the tables and machines, so I guess it is a promotion. James teases me a lot, he pranks me a lot. A lot. But, most of them were pretty harmless. I was grateful to him, and even though he jokes about it, he _is _my Guardian Angel.

" Dean! Two Macchiatos double shot of espresso. " James called, as he flirted with the women who ordered the drinks. I rolled my eyes and laughed. James had a sweet tooth in both food and women, that girl was totally out of his league. Now, that's what any person would say, yet once again, he got the girl's number.

I walk over and place the drink orders in front of the girl, and as she left, I turned to James. " Dude, how do you do that?"

" Do what?" James smirked, tucking the napkin with the number in his pocket.

" That!" I pointed to the pocket, laughing " It must be some kind of trick, I swear James."

" Well, I am a trickster." James laughed to himself, as it was some kind of inside joke that I was not a part of. " it's just that I have far more charm than you give me credit for."

" Bullshit." I scoff and go back to working, chuckling at James' defensive gasp.

" Well, that was hurtful." James commented , but smiled, not seeming to take any real offense.

" Whatever, just get back to work. I begin to question why you are the boss sometimes, I really do." Laughing I get the next customers order, not giving James a chance to counter. I really could get used to this place... Maybe even after I get my memories back.


	5. Lost words

**Gabriel's POV**

I wasn't trying to keep dean from his brother. Sure, that dick deserves it, but he was not the reason. If Sam got his memories back, his mental state would be demolished. Sure, He handled Lucifer, barely. But, I did not get him out soon enough out of hell, And the state his soul was in...It was not pretty. Surely, even if I did bring SAm back to dean, he would probably bitch at me for not getting him out quick enough.

I sigh and lean against one of my chairs in the coffee shop, watching as Sam worked. I was surprised when I first brought him back, he remembered his brothers name. Don't get love like that in my family. Luckily he thought it was his name, or else we would have to go on a goose-hunt for the "Dean" he claimed to remember. It would be a lot of work to cover that up.

"Are you just going to sit there James? Or are you actually going to work in your shop?"

Well, his sass is still one of champions, thats for sure. I lean back and stare at him. Damn, this kid was giant. "Yeah, yeah, I'd watch it if I were you. I could still fire your ass."

He laughed at this, knowing that I would never really do it. " Sure you would. I am your best worker."

I scoff " You are my only worker"

"Exactly"

Curse him and his logic. "Well, I could hire more, but than you would not get as many hours there."

" I suppose that's true..I have to pay your gouging rent every month."

"Shut up, You're living there for free basically."

Another chuckle. "Yeah, you're right..Thanks James."

It was odd hearing thank yous from the Winchester, it always catches me for a loop. And in this case, I leaned a bit too far in that chair of mine. Timber.

Sam had his hand extended in a matter of moments, willing to help me back up. "You ok there?" He smirked slightly.

I was not going to admit that the Winchester had me for a loss of words, way too much pride for that. I swat his hand away, feeling the heat going to my cheeks.

"Were you sneaking something in your coffee or what?" Sam joked before grabbing my arm and pulling me up against my many protests. " Calm down will you? You are acting like a five-year-old ."

That's it, those words meant war. I gave a battle cry and tackled Sam. If I was human, I was pretty sure I might as well been tackling a brick wall, but hey, angels got their benefits, strength being one of them. Sam did not expect being taken down so easily, the look of surprise on his face caused me to burst out laughing, I am sure I sounded like a mad man. But there was Sam, Laughing hysterically as well as we just kinda sprawled out on the floor. At some point, Sam and I became best friends... And then I realized...There was another reason for keeping Sam in the dark... I didn't want to lose him.

**Dean's POV**

It had been awhile since I have slept so peacefully, nightmares seemed not to touch me. It was calming. I slowly drift into consciousness, not really wanting the peace to end. I stir slightly to realize that someone was holding me. I quickly opened my eyes and sat up as quick as I could, startled. It took me a second to comprehend what happened before I fell asleep, my thoughts interrupted by a familiar husky voice.

"Hello, Dean"

I blink and stare at sat there calmly as I get my wits back together. I laughed uneasily at the awkwardness, Castiel seemed to fail to comprehend. "Good Mornin' Cas" I yawn before standing to stretch my legs. "Don't tell me you stayed like that all night Cas. You should have just kicked me off onto the floor." I mutter.

Castiel shook his head, looking at me fondly. "You were resting peacefully, it has been awhile...I thought you needed , you know I don't sleep."

That's just great. I felt my cheeks burn. God I really must have looked like a child, Cas probably thinks of me as one as well. I sigh, ruffling my hair before going to the bathroom. I should have said thank you. Something to show that I appreciated what he did for me, for the comfort. But, no words came out of my mouth. I simply nodded and closed the door to take a shower, leaving the unsaid words, hanging in the air.


	6. Lost Lyrics

**Sam's POV**

As weeks went on, I did a lot of writing. Sure, James made fun of me, making cracks at how sappy I was, and how I must have been the cheesiest person. That life feels like it never happened, like it was never meant to be. But, when I write, it feels like I get closer. Most of the poetry I write is saddening. I speak of lost, inner monsters, angels and is strange how descriptive they end up, like I have expierinced them first hand my entire life... Yet I cannot seem to remember an ounce of who I truly am.

_Demons are not those of fairy tales._

_They hide in the people we see everyday_

_How people avert their eyes,_

_Pretending they do not exist,_

_Keeping their fears at bay._

_We all have our demons._

_they lie deep within blood,_

_family turns on family,_

_A father, and a son._

I put down the pencil, frowning at the last words I have written. Did I even have family? I frown even more and rip the paper out of the notebook, which is almost bare from me doing the same prior time before. I stare at the paper for a good minute, focusing on it with such intensity, that I am surprise it did not burst into flames. Please. I beg silently, grip crumpling the edges of the paper. I want to know who I am, I need to know. Nothing happened, other than a large headache from staring at words in a dim light.

Right then, James popped in, smiling more than usual. "Hey Dean, Got ya somethin'" He walked into the room like he was a TV host, straightening his imaginary tie with one hand and clearing his throat. " Congratulations ! you just one a neeeewwwww -" He pulled out an acoustic guitar from behind his back, was that always there? "Guitar!"

I stare at him blankly for a second. "Uh, I don't know how to play a guitar James." I look at the guitar, then back at James, who still had that stupid smirk on his face.

"Well, lucky you. Becaaauuusseee" He makes a popping noise with his lips and points to himself. "I'll be teaching you."

I look at him skeptically, trying to imagine James jamming out on a guitar. "Bullshit, I can't see it."

And if on cue, james held up the guitar and started strumming. It was that fast pace that you hear in most spanish music,get it, you can play ok, now he was just showing off.

"Okay, OKAY! You can play guitar, thanks for sharing."I laugh before returning my attention to my only friend. "I still don't get why you want me to learn. I mean.." I shrug " I don't think I am the right kind of person to do that."

James laughed and walked over to my side, patting me on the back. "Dean, you write your own lyrics, we own a coffee shop...common! It's totally hipster"

"Hip-what?" I blink, not quite catching on to what he was saying.

James sighed and shook his head "Forget it. But anyways, think about it, I can totally see you being famous! we can make that happen!"

Famous? Was he joking. I laugh and shake my head. "There is no way in hell"

"Wouldn't be too sure about that, Dean. Besides, if you become well known, someone from your past might recognize you. There is a chance." He nudged me with his elbow. " It is worth a shot."

I thought about it, that could happen. ..I cut myself off, sure, like I could get famous overnight, like anyone would recognize me, no one seemed to be searching for me...I mean I checked the missing persons list every day to come up with still, nothing. "I don't know. James..." I mutter.

"Well, first things first, I gotta teach you. If you like it, we can continue, okay. Don't knock it until you try it."

I guess there was no point in arguing with this man, he was not budging.

**Gabriel's POV**

I know what I am doing. There really is no point trying to evade the inevitable. Sam at some point, will regain his memories... and not even my power can stop him from receiving them. At least this way, I could get a little more alone time with the younger Winchester...before he gets his memories back and ends up hating me again. The idea left a sour taste in my mouth that I could not shake away. I have grown quite fond of Sam, and it sickens me to see him suffer. He will get his memories back, and when he does, he might snap. But, if he slowly eases into it, he might turn out okay...he is strong after all

I watch him play around with the guitar, acting like it was some sort of rocket science to figure it out. I laugh and sit next to him, shoving my thoughts aside for the moment. "Why don't we start with cords first, then we try the music okay?"

Sam's face scowled. His often intelligent eyes, gleam with frustration, not liking the idea of being stumped. "This is ridiculous, why am I doing this?"

I laughed and gently grabbed his arm. " first off, you are holding it wrong, you are holding it like it is contaminated or something. Relax your arm." I gingerly moved my hand to the younger Winchester's shoulder, poking it to prove a point.

Sam relaxed his arm slightly to my guidance, seeming to get a bit more comfortable.

I smile, looking down to see that my hand was still on Sam's shoulder. I jump and quickly remove my hand before clearing my throat " much better." I mutter


	7. Found: New 'Band' Member

**Dean's POV**

It has been about three months since the incident. I honestly thought that I would have lost it by now, but somehow that angel saved my ass. He was basically the duct tape that kept me together through all of this. Castiel managed to keep hope when there was none, saying that souls just don't 'go missing'.

"Dean"

The voice made me jump, looking up to see a pair of blue eyes staring right back.

"You have been absolutely still for four minutes straight, are you alright?" his rough voice echoed through the room and he tilted his head to the side, one of his signature gestures that always seemed to put me at ease.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good...I was just...thinking..." I chuckled dryly, sitting up from the shabby motel couch.

"Thinking? Thinking about what?"

My face reddened only slightly, feeling like if I said what I thought out loud, the other would take it the wrong way. "Uh.. y'know... the usual...Any word on Sam?"

"None, It is unsettling..This never happened before." Castile furrows his eyebrows. " There is no trace"

Scowling, I pull myself to my feet and drag them all the way to the fridge to grab a beer. " I'm losing it Cas. I don't think I can take this much longer."

The angel moves to my side almost immediately, wrapping his arms around me to comfort my nerves. He has been doing that more often the past few months, and they lingered more than any normal hug. Most of the time I would clear my throat and Cas would pull away. But honestly, I did not actually mind.

"Thanks, hey.. How about we go to the diner. I'm starving."

"Alright, but you are not adding extra salt to your fries, Dean. Your blood pressure is high as it is from your stress, you do not need to aid a heart attack " Castiel frowns, shuffling on his trenchcoat and trying to straighten his tie.

" You sound like a goddamn housewife" I move over and help the angel straighten his tie " Okay, first, we are going to a freaking diner, NOT some fancy ass restaurant. So, why worrying about how you look is more than a little ridiculous. Second, how long have you been here on earth? And yet you still can't straighten your own tie. Man, you are hopeless."

_**Sam's Pov**_

" I don't get it. If I want people to recognize me, why exactly am I wearing a mask?" The stupidity of James' ideas was causing more than just a little headache.

" Because one:masks are cool and two: I don't want any crazy fangirls at the coffee shop. Besides, if someone REALLY knows you, they will recognize your voice. It's sorta like sifting through all the people quicker" James grinned " Now behave. The new bass player for our band will be here any moment!"

I really had no time to argue;because when I was about to open my mouth, the coffee shop door opened and the sound of chimes filled the air. I quickly turn to see a older man dressed in all black. He looked..familiar, but there was no connection to the scowling face and I remembered nothing of this man

" Dean, this is Crowley " James smirks and nudges Crowley's side.

As response, Crowley's scowl increased " Watch it feathers or I won't play your game." His accent thick and his frown even thicker

" 'Feathers'?" I ask confused

" it's a nickname "James gives an almost sadistic grin, which threw me for a loop " Play nice or I throw you back into the idiot box " he warns Crowley.

"Idiot box?" They were acting like I wasn't in the same room, what the hell was their problem.

"It is nothing, moose. Let's just get this over with." Crowley eases the case holding his bass onto the floor.

"And thus, the jam session will commence!" James grins. " Let's light this candle!"

**Authors Note**

_Hey everyone! Sorry for the long hiatus and then the short chapter. I will be sure to update more frequently now that I have a new laptop and tons of new free time. Thank you all for reading and leaving me __reviews and favorites, it really means a lot to me._

_Hope you all are having an amazing summer and I hope to post the next chapter soon._


	8. Found: A Gig

_Sam's POV_

"I swear to God Crowley, can you come to band practice on time for once?" James would say the same thing every Tuesday like a broken record, and I soon got used to this whole bickering thing between the two.

"I have other things to do you know, Feathers. I am not your babysitter" Crowley retorts back, straightening the black suit he always wore. " Besides, Moose doesn't seem to mind me being, what, ten minutes late?"

I quickly check my watch, yep, ten minutes on the dot like usual. "I don't really mind, but this bickering is taking even more time away." I try to lighten the mood, that seems to be the only thing I can do when they get like this. It is like trying to mix fire and ice.

James sighed "Dean is right, Let's just get practice started. So which song do you want to start with?"

" 'Unholy Kingdom' is my favorite" Crowley cuts in.

"Well no one asked you, I was asking Dean" James rolls his eyes

"Well, That is okay, we can practice that. But, I am also thinking perhaps 'Picture Perfect Heaven' and 'Holy water' need work too."

"Yeah, that is true..Wait I almost forgot! I was waiting for mister 'all high and mighty' to get here so I could tell you both the news" James grins like a complete idiot, digging out a folded piece of paper from his pocket. "Guess who got us a gig."

I gawk at the paper and crowley once again speaks. "Which demon did you give your soul to for that?" I guess even Crowley was surprised.

"I didn't _sell my soul_ " James gave Crowley a 'watch yourself' glare before turning back to me and smiling. "There is a local music festival coming up and they had an opening. Sure, it's not big, but we gotta start somewhere right? Who knows, maybe there will be talent scouts and we could get a record deal and gets lots of groupies to bang-"

I roll my eyes "Gabe our band, if we can even call it that, doesn't even have a name. Our members are always at each other's throats, and we don't have all the equipment to go up on stage.

"Tell you what, you think of a name, Crowley will stop being a big bag of dicks, and I will get the equipment and the outfits..ooooo Sam you have to think of a logo for the band too. The gig is not for a few weeks still, we can do this!"

I sigh a bit, but smile. James' enthusiasm was always contagious, and when you smile, you could not help but smile. If I wouldn't bring it to light, but I also saw a small smile from Crowley out of the corner of my eyes. "Alright.. how about this for the logo?" I pull down the collar of my shirt to reveal the tattoo I had on my chest. I don't remember how I got it, but I felt it was important, who knows, somebody might recognize it .

_Gabriel's POV_

I stare at the tattoo and I had to force myself not to cringe. That was a mark of a hunter, and the soon to be mark of the end. Memories kept coming back to the corner of my mind, times where Sam had tried to kill me multiple times, the look of hate that clearly showed in those kind eyes he now has. I clench my fist that lay at my side, forcing a smile "Sure thing Dean, that is an awesome idea." I unfortunately just realized the truth in front of me : I didn't want to lose him, I wanted to stay with Sam...I don't want to see those eyes of hate directed towards me again! I want the kind, gentle Sam before me, the one that would laugh at my jokes and watch cheesy movies with; I want the human I fell in love with, not the hunter that could care less if I was dead.

I turn to Crowley, and if i was not so depressed right now I could have laughed, the look of disgust on that demon's face, the irony, it was priceless. I push back my feelings and swallow hard before speaking again. "And, do you have a name?"

Sam seemed to be mulling it over, biting his lower lip, oh father I love it when he does that...I find focusing in more on those lips and I thought I heard words, but I was not really paying attention, too entranced. I might be an Angel, but I could do so many unholy things with those lips-

"James? Helllloooo , Ground control to major Tom? Can you hear me?"

I snap out of it and quickly look up, feeling an unusual heat in my cheeks. "Huh, what? sorry…" I mutter slightly.

"Head in the clouds much feathers?" Crowley snickers

"You feeling okay James? Your cheeks are a bit flushed…" Sam leaned in slightly until his eyes were locked onto mine at the same level. He reached over and the back of his hand touched my forehead,

Oh fuck me, I can't handle this proximity, its killing me. You are literally killing me you beautiful creation!

"You're a bit warm.." He murmurs

And you are fucking hot, forgive me father for I want to create multiple sins with this human.

"Are you getting sick? Perhaps you should lay down for a bit…"

Angels don't get sick, but I played along with it, shielding my pride. " " my voice sounded weirdly raspy, and I had to clear my throat "I have been overworking myself lately.." I hear a small scoff from Crowley and I give him a glare before turning back to Sam, my heart strings being violently yanked when I saw his worried expression. "I will go upstairs and get some sleep.." Angels don't sleep, just another lie to add to the list...He is going to hate me when he remembers, and that hurt more than anything, the idea hurting so much my own breath hitched.

I don't remember falling forward, but the next thing I knew; I was being supported in Sam's arms. What just happened? I look around, trying to figure out what just happened and how much time had passed.

"Hey...James….James?" Sam's voice echoed through my skull but I could not seem to find words anymore. " Okay, you are going to bed.." my body became weightless, but I was not flying, no..this sensation was far better. I looked up absently to see that Sam had picked me up and was carrying me bridal style upstairs. My mind came back to reality, but I still said nothing, wanting to savor this moment for as long as I possibly could. I was grounded soon, my back now on the mattress that creaked slightly once my weight was added to it. My high was gone, and I would give up anything to feel it again, Sam's embrace nothing more than a phantom now,still lingering. I thought I heard sam say something, but I could not make it out, footsteps echoing out of the room and the light being switched off. I was alone once again and I curled up on top of the bed, not even bothering to get under the sheets. Angels might not be able to sleep, but we can dream..and more than anything I dreamed of a life with that beautiful creature...I wanted to stay by Sam's side forever. I heard a shift in the wood floor and looked up " Just leave me alone, I am not in the mood."

"What your game not seeming so fun anymore?" Crowley sat on the bed "I know that you like the annoying moose, and I like drama and all, I live for it actually, but being a part of it is annoying."

" I never asked for your opinion…" I grumbled, turning away to face the wall

"I won't say anything about this, only because watching you torture yourself is the only satisfaction I get out of this" And with that I was alone again, my chest sore and my mind full.

Hunter of not, Sam Winchester will surely be the death of me.


	9. Found: Some Band Merch

"Hey do you know what is up with James lately?" I ask, putting on the ornate white mask that James had hand selected for me.

"Who knows." Crowley grumbled, examining his full faced black mack with intricate carvings of red etched into it. " I thought you would be used to his exotic ways by now."

"But he is late..he is never late...that's your thing!" I say exasperated.

"Don't get you knickers in a twist, he will be here- speak of the devil.."

I spin around to see James adorned in a suit, like the rest of us, but also his gold mask. He was holding a large box "Sorry I'm late! I was picking up these babies" he chuckles and drops the box in front of us.

"And what exactly is..that?" I hesitate, not exactly sure if I want to know.

"Uh.. band merch DUH" James opened the box and showed its contents.

'ABSENT SOULS' was printed on the front along with the symbol that was on my chest. The name was a was a collaborative piece, one that crowley actually could agree on and James could trademark...so that is what we became.

"James… No one has even heard of us yet, you think they are going to want a shirt?"

"Dean please, after they hear us, both boxes will be sold out.." he snaps his fingers "like that."

I look at him horrified "There is another box!?" I groan " James you are crazy!"

"Yeah, it's in the car, which we should be in too! we gotta gig boys, and we are going to rock their faces off !"

Crowley sighed sighed, mumbling something about how car transportation was inconvenient, but James elbowed him harshly in the side.

"Do we have everything?" I straighten out my suit , hoping that this will go as well as James thinks it will. How can he be so confident?

"Yep! to the car!" James rushes out, leaving Crowley and I to follow behind.

The stage was outdoors, and you could hear base from down the road, at least I knew we were heading in the right direction. "are you sure about these masks James? I look ridiculous!" I was in full panic mode at this point, trying to find a way to weasel my way out of the whole thing.

"I am positive, nothing gains more interest than a mystery Dean-o. We will be the talk of the festival just you wait!" I sigh and watch as we park on the grass, knowing that James would not let me escape, not after getting this far. "Everyone grab your gear, we are heading out. Dean, make sure your mask is on nice and snug, don't want it falling off."

I fasten the mask to my face. It was not a full faced mask like Crowley's or James' It covered my eyes and hooked almost like a crescent, leaving the right side of my mouth visible. This is most likely so my voice isn't muffled, though sometimes I wish it was. I stepped out of the car and grabbed my guitar. I felt the heavy bass resonate in my chest like a second heartbeat. People gave me questioning looks, making it hard to look anywhere but the ground in front of me. It seemed more impending now, lambs to slaughter...that is what is going to happen. How could James be so confident?

"Dean...DEAN!" there was a sharp jab in my side, causing me to wince and look up.

"OW! What the hell James!?"

"Quit staring at your feet. You need to be confident!"

"We look stupid, That is hard to do."

"We look fucking awesome and you know it!"

"Will you two stop squabbling like a bunch of idiots. It is MORE annoying than hell" Crowley cuts in, smacking the back of James' head.

"OW! why didn't you slap Dean too!?" James protests, kicking Crowley in the shin. "I was just trying to lighten the mood! Don't be such a dick Crowley."

I chuckle, loosening up a bit. I don't know, it felt like those two planned on lightening up the air. An odd alliance. Maybe I should be worried.

James looks up at me and smiles, putting crowley in an arm lock "Don't mind this black hearted man Dean, I will keep him in line" he chuckles a bit before Crowley elbowed him in the stomach. "Hey we better get moving! We are coming up soon!"

"God save us all." I mutter

"God has nothing to do with this." James laughs as if it were an inside joke, crowley rolling his eyes.

"Let's just get this over with."

We all make our way up the steps and onto the stage. A sea of confused and curious faces, the hum of brief silence before the introduction commenced.

"AND NOW ON STAGE WE HAVE A NEW BAND!" The voice echoed through the crowd, the vibrations from the speaker resonating in my chest. "GIVE IT UP FOR ABSENT SOULS!"

It's showtime.


	10. Found: Lyrics

Sam's POV

" I'm back

More damned than ever

Hands steady, I'm ready

Shotguns filled with salt

And no signs of fear

Get slamed

With the harsh truth of reality-

More tragedy

And it it's all my fault

It follows like a tether

Pulling me back to the roads I hold dear

I see my own demons

Eating at my insides

Wendigo-

I must go

Back to that Engine's purr

The silent rides, They haunt me

and all I smell is sulfur.

The cries of man-

Leviathan

I am my own destruction.

I'm back

More damned than ever

Hands steady, I'm ready

Shotguns filled with salt

And no signs of fear

Get slamed

With the harsh truth of reality-

More tragedy

And it it's all my fault

It follows like a tether

Pulling me back to the roads I hold dear

Back to the car I'm traveling

My mind unraveling, I can't stop

Out of luck

This is my life

there's no way out-

I'm stuck.

Somewhere along this crazy life I lost the map

Which held my moral codes

The roads-

They never sleep

They're my devil's trap

I'm back

More damned than ever

Hands steady, I'm ready

Shotguns filled with salt

And no signs of fear

Get slamed

With the harsh truth of reality-

More tragedy

And it it's all my fault

It follows like a tether

Pulling me back to the roads I hold dear

I don't need a witch to tell my fate

with her seeing crystals-

Pistols, and that damn smell of sulfur

Take a shot of holy water before I go

with disheveled hair and a whiskey chaser-

I don't face her

It's better this way

Never dance with the devil

then expect him to stay.

Back to the roads I ride

Can't hide who I am

Those demons are still inside.

I'm back

More damned than ever

Hands steady, I'm ready

Shotguns filled with salt

And no signs of fear

Get slamed

With the harsh truth of reality-

More tragedy

And it it's all my fault

It follows like a tether

Pulling me back to the roads I hold dear

Black eyes they follow lustfully-

longingly, wanting to feel my fire

Desire, a vampire

They feed off my sins hungrily

I try in vain-

The mark of Cain

It's about time somebody screams murder!-

I hurt her-

Down her cheeks are lined with tears

her heart a rapid drum

Glassy blue orbs reflect like mirrors

I can't change what I've become.

I'm back

More damned than ever

Hands steady, I'm ready

Shotguns filled with salt

And no signs of fear

Get slamed

With the harsh truth of reality-

More tragedy

And it it's all my fault

It follows like a tether

Pulling me back to the roads I hold dear

Iron bars and silver blades protect me

Set free-

I found myself at the crossroads

Let's make a deal, I'd go that extra mile

To stop those screams -

That haunt my dreams

Tell me at what cost will it take?

I'm grasping at strings trying to be what I once was,

Back to the steering wheel the asphalt sings

To forget about the pain for a while

To no longer feel for the ones I lost.

I'm back

More damned than ever

Hands steady, I'm ready

Shotguns filled with salt

And no signs of fear

Get slamed

With the harsh truth of reality-

More tragedy

And it it's all my fault

It follows like a tether

Pulling me back to the roads I hold dear

I'm back."

I took a shaky breath, looking back to my bandmates with a breathless smile. We did it. We sang to our first crowd. James gave me a thumbs up before gesturing me to look back at the crowd. The adrenaline high was so much, I forgot to pay attention to the crowd, only now did the roaring cheers reach my ears. I grinned more, Waving to the crowd. "Thank you all!" Crowley and James stepped forward also, giving a slight bow before leaving the stage for the next band to play and I followed not far behind. "That felt amazing." I grin

"It sounding amazing!" James playfully punched me in the arm. "You hand the crowd eating out of your hands kiddo!"

When we got off the stage, there was a group of people eagerly awaiting our presence, and soom bombarding us with questions. Things like 'Why the masks' and 'When and where are we playing next'. I let the questions be answered by James, who seemed to enjoy the attention, I stayed back with crowley, chatting about how well he did. Crowley seemed to be amused whenever I complimented him..like a sick kind of amused, but I ignored it nonetheless. I glance back at James, Who was now selling that huge box of t-shirts. When did he even go to get them? I didn't see him leave..Maybe I was just distracted from all the commotion. James turned to me and smiled, showing me an empty box, and a fistfull of money.

"Looks like we got some new fans, Let's go out and celebrate after this."

I smile and nod. I was honestly surprised to see the T-shirts were already gone, and the wad of money James had his hand was not a sum to laugh at. This did seem like a very good time to celebrate.

Gabriel's POV:

It is always good to see the Samsquatch smile. Honestly, making him smile was now a number on priority in my opinion. Sam Winchester deserves to smile. I grin, fanning myself with the newly possessed money. "So, I say we find a good strip joint and make it rain, Make our own Casa Erotica."

Sam rolled his eyes, god I love it when he does that. Sassy moose is love..sassy moose is life. "No James. We are not going to spend the money on something like that, you are insane." He sighed. "Besides, if we are going to be serious about this, we need to think about our image." We walked to the van, putting our equipment in the back before sam continued. "We probably should use it on better band equipment, like amps."

"You are the party pooper of rock stars, Y'know that?" I pout a bit but sigh, getting into the van and peeling off my mask. "I swear you need to lighten up, or you will die a lonely life my friend."

Sam scoffed but laughed. "Well it is better than being dead in a ditch. Hurry up and drive James, I am starving."

"You should have ate before we came here." I teased, now purposely buckling up at the slowest rate possible.

Sam groaned. "I was too nervous, I didn't want to hurl on stage." He complained and I laughed.

"Whatever, we can go to the drive through."

"Why can't we sit down and eat?" Sam complained again, taking his mask off.

I smirk a bit, causing Crowley to kick the back of my seat. "What are you planning featherbrain?"

I start driving off. "Road trip."

**A/N **

**Hey guys! sorry for taking so long. I had to write that stupid song and it took forever. lol.**

**Sorry that this was such a short chapter and I will try to update more often. Thanks for reading! Love you all,**

**~MRFC**


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